Every single day since then I wish I could go back and stick up for what I believed in. I could’ve got over getting slapped, getting punched or getting pushed like you did time and time again. I could’ve dealt with a bruise or a broken bone, it would’ve healed faster than this, it would’ve went away in time. But not this feeling. I fucking hate myself for letting it happen. I hate that it’s you. I hate that it happened. It’s never supposed to be that way. I look at him and wish it was him. Because I know he wouldn’t change after. I know he wouldn’t leave if he didn’t get any. I know that he would love me for me and not for what I provide. I would do anything to go back and change it. Maybe then I’d feel more at peace with myself. Maybe I wouldn’t hate myself so much, or have nightmares about it. I would’ve rather got hit, punched or pushed than have to live with having that connection with you. Fuck. You.
my mom said ‘Hitler was a penis potato’
and i have never been more confused in my life
until she looked at me like i was stupid and said ‘dictator… penis potato… god its like you’re not even my daughter’
i am so fucking done